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| My Son |
I will be the first to admit; at first I was not very good at disciplining him. When he did something bad there would be punishment, but with a bargain attached.
I’m sure every parent has been through this, the “threat” of severe punishment only to relax it because of “good” behavior.
One day it hit me, he was not learning that there are real consequences for his actions. He did not feel any real “pain” associated with the discipline. I would threaten to take action only to relax because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I love to watch my son compete, baseball, basketball, you name it. What I like about it most is that he loves to play. He loves to be a teammate. He loves sports.
Last December my son decided to have an episode, he didn’t want to clean his room, wash the dishes, and clean up the house… I forget now what his problem was but he took his frustration out on his mother and me. He did this two hours before his last YMCA basketball game of the season. A game against a heated rival and a big party planned afterwards.
I decided I have had enough, “To your room and your not playing today!” Of course he had heard this a million times only to know that I would cave and settle for a less severe punishment and if he played well no punishment at all.
15 minutes before he was supposed to report he came down and said “Are you ready to go dad?” It was that moment I was faced with a choice continue with a pattern that repeats itself or change course and follow through. I calmly said…. “Son, I said you aren’t playing today now back to your room.” It was a that moment he knew I was serious. The look of dismay on his face nearly killed me but I kept it together with a stern poker face of my own. There was genuine pain with what I just did; it was starting to set in that he wouldn’t play in the last game. He would have to return to school with his friends asking where he was. He let his team down when they needed him the most. He let his coach down, and he let me down.
That is real pain, pain and 11 year old never wants to feel again and I am happy to say his action that got him to that point has not been repeated.
Former Iowa running back Adam Robinson is starting to feel the pain set in from getting kicked off the team.
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| Adam Robinson |
He was suspended from the insight bowl for what was called “academic indigestions” by Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz. Did Robinson learn his lesson? No! He was arrested in late December for marijuana possession He later plead guilty and gets slapped with a $315 fine, community service and must complete a drug treatment program. Pretty standard stuff for a first time offender, there’s not much pain attached to the punishment.
What hurts is that Robinson was kicked off the team. No longer a Hawkeye, that hurts considering he grew up wanting to where the black and gold.
On Sunday he called in the TV crews and the newspaper to say he was sorry and to proclaim he wants to be a Hawkeye again, He’s returning to Iowa City to work hard in the classroom as well as the weight room.
Of course he didn’t tell coach Ferentz of his intentions before going public, he was making an assumption. Remember the old saying; assume means you make an ass out of you and of me.
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| Kirk Ferentz |
Kirk Ferentz faces a tough decision here, to back off his original punishment (kicked off the team) or to stick to his guns.
I believe lessons are best learned when there is “pain” associated with stupid actions we take. It’s how we learn, its how we improve, it’s how we develop our character and integrity.
Adam Robinson will play football again; it just shouldn’t be for the Hawkeyes. He had his chance, in fact two that we know of. It’s easy to forgive and forget. It’s a lot tougher to forgive and say goodbye and good luck, we wish you the best.
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